


and if we only die once

by rib14



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 05:48:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13160553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rib14/pseuds/rib14
Summary: jace & addax during the war/kingdom game, a secret samol gift for twitter user @bircheswatching! (title from something i need by onerepublic, the most jaceaddax song)





	and if we only die once

There was a clash with Oricon, back in the early days of Addax’s candidacy. A small skirmish, as far as intergalactic empires go, but as he was the candidate of Peace, he was the first to be deployed into the action. The Autonomous Diaspora thought using Peace as a weapon of war was a good PR move. Addax wasn’t sure he agreed, but he trusted the democratic process that led him to be there, so he fought.

There was one moment in that fight between Peace and hundreds of riggers that Addax remembers, clear as day. It was the rigger that Peace couldn’t kill. The fight wasn’t particularly difficult that day, this was in the days before September, before Oricon was busy using all of its resources to perfect weapons against the Diaspora, but there was one rigger, looking the same as the rest, that Addax couldn’t get. It was fast, seemed to know what Addax and Peace were going to do before they did it, got a few real hits in before Oricon’s forces were ordered to retreat. Addax had never seen anything like it.

 

.

 

After a not-so-successful battle with Peace in Oricon space, Jace Rethal, being the only soldier in his rank to do any damage to the divine, got a promotion of sorts. It had been his first real battle with a Divine and at the time he had no idea why he was so good at it, and neither did his superiors, so of course, he was turned into propaganda. Maybe it was the victory against Peace, maybe it was just his handsome face, his girlfriend Tea told him. Jace smiled at that, not sure which option he liked, if either.

And that’s how Jace started on his path to becoming the hero of Oricon: a battle technically lost. He often wondered what his life would be like if there wasn’t a constant war on; he thought he might be an academic, write a book or two. But there was no time in his schedule, between filming fake, sanitized battle scenes with EarthHome representatives for various propaganda films and commercials, and training for the real thing. It was a strange dichotomy, and it was especially strange to see your own face on a poster promoting the military along with the latest Minerva toothpaste.

 

.

 

Years later, Apostolos was attacking. Oricon and the Diaspora were making an alliance to stop it. The whole star sector was turning upside down.

They were putting together a team, and of course Peace would be put on it. And this time, Addax hoped, they would be an instrument of peace, for once.

 

.

 

Jace was being put on the first joint mission between Oricon and the Diaspora to stop Apostolos from building some kind of alien superweapon. Peace was going to be there too, and their candidate Addax, which filled Jace with a new desire to prove himself. He beat Peace once before (okay, he didn’t _beat_ Peace, but that wasn’t the point), and he would make sure Addax found a worthy opponent and ally in him.

 

.

 

Addax was meeting the Oricon members of the new joint fleet for the first time, and there were a lot of them. Oricon loved showing its strength in pure numbers, that was something Addax had known for a long time. He met Tea Kenridge, the Queen Captain of the Queen’s Gambit, and Orth Godlove, the man who apparently was captain of the flagship but certainly didn’t seem like it, but the one who stuck out the most to him was Jace Rethal. The kid looked the kind of confident you pretend to be when you’re nervous, nothing like the tranquil, patriotic rigger pilot he had seen in the few propaganda videos he’d watched.

Jace stuck his hand out to shake. “Jace Rethal. I fought you once before, actually.” He said with a smile that made Addax want to melt away the formality he had to have as an official representative of the Diaspora.

“Did you win?” Addax asked, more playful than he should’ve allowed himself to be, given the circumstances.

“I didn’t die, so I’d count that as a win.” Right. This was a war, not a game. This was real life, and Addax could’ve killed this kid. Almost did.

“Well. I look forward to working with you."

“You too. I think we’re gonna save some lives together.”

 

.

 

Jace really had no idea why he said they should go through Diaspora space when Addax asked which path they should take. Even as he said the words, he could feel Tea getting angry at him. Obviously it felt, in many ways, like the best way to show a united Oricon and Diaspora front, but there was something else there. Addax made him want to be risky, impulsive, impressive. Jace never was one for showing off, but he heard the way Addax talked about the Diaspora, the passion in his voice describing the voting process and the steps it took for him to be a candidate. And something in Jace wanted desperately for Addax to talk about him like that.

“That sounds risky. Let’s do it.” Even Addax looked surprised by the decision, but it somehow went through, something about Orth making lots of calculations, they weren’t quite sure.

 

.

 

One day Jace told Addax about his weird power. He could communicate with Divines, almost. Jace told him it’s fascinating, but he’s afraid what would happen if all of the Oricon military knew; the only other people he’s told is Tea and a few of his superiors.

Addax could not understand for the life of him why Jace would decide to tell him, a citizen of the goddamn Diaspora, about this. Jace said it’s because he trusts him, and Jace is a deeply trusting person, but he’s barely told anyone in Oricon so he obviously knows that it’s a dangerous secret. When Addax said as much, Jace only blushes and said “I trust you, Addax.” Addax only hoped he can prove that to be a good choice.

 

.

 

They kissed once, that whole voyage. It was near the end, when they were planning how to take the super weapon on Counterweight. Those few weeks, they spent a lot of time, just the two of them, surrounded by maps and data and probabilities. It was tense the majority of the time on the fleet, but Jace and Addax both would rather be with each other than most anyone else, and they certainly didn’t want to think too hard about all that had happened prior, so they cherished the hours spent poring over holographic blueprints.

“Can we take a break for a minute?” Addax asked, turning off the blue lights that created the hologram of the sea on Counterweight him and Jace had been staring at for the past two hours.

“Yeah, of course.” Jace turned towards Addax, leaning against the table.

“Are we gonna die, Jace?”

Jace frowned. “No, we’re doing all of this work to make sure that we don’t…”

“But we could still die. We could be traitors, we will be traitors to someone no matter what, you get that, right?”

“Yeah, Addax, I’ve gotten that the whole damn time. And that’s why I’m going in there to get the weapon, that’s why I’m making sure the rest of you are safe!” Jace said, more forcefully than he had expected. “I don’t know what I would do with myself if someone died but it could have been me.”

Addax instinctually grabbed Jace’s arm, not sure if it was an attempt to stop him from doing something stupid or just to pull him closer. “I… I guess I’ll try not to die then.”

Jace smiled in spite of himself. “Thanks.”

“Anything for you.”

A pause, as they stared each other in the eye. Jace bit his lip. Addax tapped his fingers on the table.

“Hey, Jace?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I… kiss you?”

“Yeah.”

 

.

 

It’s funny how trust works, Jace realized, a piece of unbelievably powerful alien tech in his hand. He thought he trusted Addax completely, but now that the chips are down, he can’t trust anyone with this but himself. He can’t let anyone else be hurt.

And it’s funny how trust works, Jace realized, his Panther being taken apart in the most clinical and impersonal way by a man he thought he could trust. Either Peace has gotten better, he thinks, just before he hits the ground that used to be a sea, or I’ve gotten worse.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks 4 reading! u can find me on twitter @makotrig where i mostly cry abt jaceaddax? (also i sorta made a pinterest board to go with this fic/just jaceaddax during the war in general, u can find it here: https://www.pinterest.com/hadestown/and-if-we-only-die-once)


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